King Harold Comes Back
'Nothing seems to have changed much,' Harold said as he wandered around the Battle Abby
Grounds and scratched his bad eye which was still sore from the time that William had shot him
through the eye.
'I'll just take a wander up the High Street, not that I can recognise the place. So much has changed since 1066. God, is it 2016 already? My word doesn't time go so quickly nowadays. Hello, what's this place here? Boots the chemist? Never heard of the place. Hello, what's this eye ointment that they are advertising? I could do with some of that. I don't suppose they would accept the coins I have on me. They must have gone out of circulation by now,' he said scratching his bad eye again. 'Oh, William you rotter you!'
Afterwards, Harold wandered further down The High Street and stumbled across a sandwich board. 'Hello, what's this being advertised here?' he asked. 'Richard Barcroft day trips to France? Well, I'm not exactly kindly disposed towards the French. Just you wait and see until I see this Richard Barcroft fellow. I'll soon tell him what I think about his day trips to France.'
'I'll just take a wander up the High Street, not that I can recognise the place. So much has changed since 1066. God, is it 2016 already? My word doesn't time go so quickly nowadays. Hello, what's this place here? Boots the chemist? Never heard of the place. Hello, what's this eye ointment that they are advertising? I could do with some of that. I don't suppose they would accept the coins I have on me. They must have gone out of circulation by now,' he said scratching his bad eye again. 'Oh, William you rotter you!'
Afterwards, Harold wandered further down The High Street and stumbled across a sandwich board. 'Hello, what's this being advertised here?' he asked. 'Richard Barcroft day trips to France? Well, I'm not exactly kindly disposed towards the French. Just you wait and see until I see this Richard Barcroft fellow. I'll soon tell him what I think about his day trips to France.'
The Seagull
A jolly fisherman I once was but now with pride, I wear a plumed coat of white and grey and have
an elongated yellow beak. You will often see me patrolling outside the fish and chip shops of Old
Hastings Town. Always ready to pounce on unsuspecting people coming out of the chippy. I think
I'll start off at The Old Town Fryer and work my way along to The Life Boat and then onto the Cod
Father. After all, they are the chippies I would recommend. Looking from out of the corner with my
beady eye. I can see a bloke in The Old Town Fryer buying a medium portion of cod and chips.
That's it old mate put plenty of salt and vinegar on. That just the way I like my cod and chips. Oh
boy, it's not going to be your lucky night.
Oh, look there's the local Bobby talking to people sitting outside the Cod Father eating their fish and chips. When you look at me I don't always look that big but when I spread my wings you would be amazed at the size of my wing span. I will swoop down on that copper in a sec and flap my wings and knock his helmet off.
Yes, yes! The coppers helmet has landed in someone's plate of fish and chips and it's all covered in salt and vinegar and tomato ketchup. Whoopee!
Oh, look there's someone across the road outside the ice cream parlour buying a 99. I must be off now.
Oh, look there's the local Bobby talking to people sitting outside the Cod Father eating their fish and chips. When you look at me I don't always look that big but when I spread my wings you would be amazed at the size of my wing span. I will swoop down on that copper in a sec and flap my wings and knock his helmet off.
Yes, yes! The coppers helmet has landed in someone's plate of fish and chips and it's all covered in salt and vinegar and tomato ketchup. Whoopee!
Oh, look there's someone across the road outside the ice cream parlour buying a 99. I must be off now.
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